B"H

Tuesday, Mar-Cheshvan 21, 5769 / November 22, 2008

Our sages say, "Forty days before the formation of a child, it is announced in heaven that the daughter of this one will marry this one."  Although marriages are made in heaven, it is up to us to do whatever we can to find that individual and pray to G-d that He help us in finding our soul mate.  

The first mention in the Torah of a marriage which came about through a matchmaker, is in this week's Parsha, Chayei Sarah. 

The Torah describes, in great detail, how Abraham sent his trusted servant, Eliezer, to find a wife for his son, Yitzchak.  Abraham instructs Eliezer to travel to his birth place where his family lives, and bring back a wife for Yitzchak.  Abraham insisted that it be only a family member.

Eliezer took 10 camels loaded with goods and went to Abraham's birth-place, Aram-Naharaim.  Before entering the city he stopped at a well, “at the time, when the women go out to draw water."

Eliezer devised a test to determine which girl would be suitable for Yitzchak and prayed to G-d for success.  "I will stand by the well... Let it come to pass that the girl to whom I say, 'Let down your pitcher so that I may drink' and she will answer, 'Drink and I will give your camels to drink too,' she will be the one You have chosen for Yitzchak."

The Torah continues: "Before he finished praying, Rivkah came out with her pitcher on her shoulder. And the servant ran to meet her and said, 'Give me a little water to drink from your pitcher.'  And she said, 'Drink, my lord', and she hastened and let down her pitcher upon her hand and gave him to drink. Then she said, 'Also for your camels I will draw until they have finished drinking.'"

Eliezer obtained her family's permission to take Rivkah back with him to Yitzchak.  The Torah tells us that, "Yitzchak brought her into the tent of his mother Sarah and he took Rivkah and she became his wife; and he loved her and Yitzchak was comforted for his mother."

This detailed story of how Eliezer chose a wife for Yitzchak teaches us the foundation for a successful marriage and building a Jewish home.  Abraham wasn’t looking for a girl from a wealthy family.  His greatest concern was that Yitzchak's wife should be kind and generous.  If she had these qualities, the rest would fall into place.

This story happened over 3500 years ago, but the lesson is valid today. The key to a successful marriage is when it is built on a foundation of kindness and selflessness rather than selfishness.

Our sages say, "The world stands upon three things; the study of Torah; service of G-d (Avodah); and acts of kindness (Gemilat Chasadim)."  So too, the foundation of a Jew's personal world (i.e. the home) must be built upon the above three foundations; Torah, the service of G-d and generosity and kindness. 

HAVE A VERY GOOD, HAPPY, HEALTHY AND SUCCESSFUL DAY