Monday, Shevat 22, 5783 (Hakhel Year) / February 13, 2023
Today is the 35th yartzeit of Rebbetzin Chaya Mushka, of blessed memory, the Lubavitcher Rebbe’s wife. The Rebbe said that her blessings have great power and influence in heaven. May her memory be a blessing to us all for peace, good health, success and nachas. Amen.
This past Shabbat we read from the Torah the Ten Commandments. The Ten Commandments are read three times a year. Once, in Parshat Yitro, as we did this past Shabbat. Once on the Shavuot holiday – the holiday of the giving of the Torah. The third time is in Parshat Va’etchanan, in the book of Deuteronomy, where the Ten Commandments are repeated.
The fifth commandment of the Ten Commandments is, “Honor your father and mother in order that your days will be lengthened on the land that G-d your G-d is giving you.” Later in Parshat Kedoshim (Leviticus 19:3) the Torah commands, “Your mother and father you shall fear.”
Q. Why, when the Torah commands to honor parents, it mentions first father and then mother, but when commanding to fear parents the order is reversed, first mother then father?
A. Our sages explain that by nature a child fears the father more than the mother but respects their mother more. The Torah tells us that respect and fear for parents should be equal. Thus, when speaking of honor, it mentions father first to make him equal to mother and by fear it mentions mother first to say that they should be equal.
Honoring parents is one of the greatest and most important mitzvot. It is the only one of the Ten Commandments for which the reward is included together with the commandment and engraved on the same Tablet.
“Do not commit murder,” comes right after, “Honor your father and mother.” This teaches us, say our sages, that when children do not honor and support their parents, it is, in G-d’s eyes, as if they have committed murder!
Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai said, “G-d made honoring parents even greater than honoring G-d. For, concerning honoring G-d it says, ‘Honor G-d with your substance.’ Thus, if you have the means you have to give to charity and if you don’t have the means you don’t have to give. But when it comes to honoring parents, even if you have very little yourself and even if you have to go begging you still have to honor them and help them.”
Rabbi Eliezer the Elder was asked by his disciples, “How far should one go in honoring his father and mother?”
He replied, “Go and see what Dama ben Nesina of Ashkelon did. When his mother, who was feebleminded, hit him with her sandal in the presence of the entire council over which he presided, he only said to her, ‘Enough, mother.’ Moreover, when her sandal, with which she was hitting him fell, he picked it up and handed it back to her.”
The Talmud tells the following story about one of the great Talmudic sages, Rabbi Tarfon. One Shabbat his mother went for a walk and her sandal tore. Being Shabbat, it couldn’t be fixed. Rabbi Tarfon placed his hands under the soles of her feet, and she walked like this until she came home.
The Talmud tells that the sage Rav Yosef, upon hearing his mother’s footsteps, would say, “I must rise for the presence of the Shechina (G-d’s glory) which is approaching.” He equated honoring his mother to honoring G-d. For, parents and G-d are partners in the creation of a child, thus, honoring parents is honoring G-d.
HAVE A VERY GOOD, HAPPY, HEALTHY AND SUCCESSFUL DAY