B"H

Friday, Iyar 9, 5777 / May 5, 2017 (24th day of the Omer)

In Parshat Kedoshim, which is the second Parsha we will be reading this Shabbat, we find, amongst many more mitzvot, the mitzvah of respecting parents.

“Every person should fear his mother and his father, and My Shabbat you shall observe.”

By comparison: The Fifth Commandment of the Ten Commandments is: “Honor your father and your mother, that your days will be long upon the land which the L-rd your G-d gives you.”

Q.Why, in the Ten Commandments, when speaking of honor, the Torah mentions father first, yet, in this Parsha, when speaking about fearing parents, the Torah mentions mother first?

A. The sages explain: A father is usually more strict with a child, while the mother is more gentle. As a result, a child would naturally fear the father more than fearing their mother. On the other hand, one will honor and respect their mother more, as a result of her being more gentle, caring and kind.

The Torah tells us that a child should have equal feelings of respect, fear and honor to both parents. In the case of honor, which is by nature more to the mother, the Torah says honor your father and mother, mentioning father first. But when speaking of fearingparents, which one has naturally more for the father, the Torah equalizes it by mentioning mother first. In other words, the Torah wants to impress upon us that fearing and honoring parents must be the sameto each of them.

Q. What is the concept of fearingparents? Why would one “fear” them?

A. “Fear” in this context is not an emotional fear, but a practice which comes as a result of great respect.

According to Halacha (Torah law) honoringparents means: to provide them with their needs such as food and clothing. Also, to help them when they need to go out etc.

Fearingparents means: One may not sit in a parent’s designated seat and place; one must let the parent speak first and one may not contradict a parent! In a case where one has to contradict a parent, they must do it in a most respectful way.

One must respect parents to the greatest level. The Torah commandment is even in the case where one may conclude logically that his or her parents do not deserve respect. Even in that case the Torah commands that one must honor, fear and respect their parents.

SHABBAT  SHALOM

Montrealcandle lighting time: 7:48 / Shabbat ends: 8:59